Sacrifice for love

I'm doing my best to have patience and love for my small children, especially the little boys. Last week I was at the edge of my patience with them and found me putting one in time out and letting the other cry while I took a break in my room to regroup. I fell to my knees and prayed for help. I didn't want to yell or get upset with the situation at hand, but my patience was getting thin. I then got the thought, or impression, that I should cut my hair. Not the answer I was expecting to get, but it was an answer. You see, my boys, when they get sad and clingy, they love to hold my hair for comfort. But recently it's not just holding my hair, it's pulling my hair and I feel I don't have control or freedom in any situation when they have me gripped by my hair. I don't like short hair, it's been 9 years since I cut my hair shorter than my shoulders. I thought about the idea and the thought of a conference talk came to my mind that was given just last October by Elder Lawrence called What lack I yet? He spoke about being humble and teachable in following the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I thought, I need to follow this impression if I want the Holy Ghost to keep guiding me, so I did it! I picked up Eden from school later that day and her and I went to go cut my hair. The little boys have been surprised that they can't grab my hair anymore, but I feel I have more love and patience and I'm not being controlled by them anymore, I can be controlled by my love for them now. I decided that I love my boys more than my hair, and my hair will grow back, and by then, they hopefully won't have a tendency to grab and pull it as they used to.

Learning through a friend

There is a sister that I used to visit teach until she was married a year ago and moved into the neighboring ward with her new husband. I was assigned to be her visiting teacher because not all people can put up with her and she doesn't put up with a lot of people. She is a sweet sister but has been challenged in this life with mental disabilities. She can't read past a third grade level and her thinking is a lot like a child. Once she was married and I did not visit teach her anymore I thought she wouldn't call me anymore. I was wrong. She still calls me to talk and ask me for a ride here or there since her and her husband don't have a car. Sometimes her requests are bizarre and the timing isn't the best. I've learned to be honest and tell her 'no' when I honestly can't help her and know she doesn't take offense. The other day the realization came to me about my friend: She doesn't need me as much as I need her! I thought, 'when this life is over and she is not burdened by these handicaps brought on by mortality, what will she tell Jesus about me?' My heart began to change, instead of looking at her phone calls as a burden I began to see them as an opportunity to serve God and His children. Didn't Jesus say 'I was an hungered and you took me in, naked and ye clothed me, a stranger and ye took me in...' Yes, I need her more than she needs me. I can help her with a ride to the store, the doctor's office, or the laundry mat, but I need to learn to love ALL of God's children and to serve them as I would my own children. Thank you God for sending me this friend to teach me not to be so self-centered, to look out instead of in, to love instead of spite. Yesterday was her anniversary, I was so grateful for my friend that I baked her a cake for the occasion. Thank you Amanda!

Strengthening the weakness

I love reading the Book of Mormon, it is by far my favorite book. I'm so glad we are learning the Book of Mormon in primary, I love to teach it to my primary class. Right now I'm reading in Alma with captain Moroni (I know this was Mormon's favorite Nephite leader, why else would he have named his son Moroni?). In the chapters I just read, Amalikiah has taken over the Lamanites and is preparing them for war to take over the Nephites, he is very clever to take over the Lamanites and blind them to go to war. Captain Moroni on the other hand was preparing the Nephites for a war that is imminent. He prepares their minds in the ways of the Lord and in the fear of the Lord, he creates small forts of refuge for them and he fortifies the weakest parts of the land. As I thought of this it made me think of the war that we are in, we might not be fighting the battle now, but war with satan is imminent, he is preparing his armies to fight against us and we on the other hand can't sit back and just watch them prepare for war, we need to follow captain Moroni's example and do what we can to prepare to defend ourselves, our God and our families. I think of what the prophets have taught us in the last few years. #1: Keep the Sabbath day holy follows the idea that Moroni helped prepare the minds of the people in the ways and fear of the Lord. #2: Small forts, this is definitely the Temple of God, a place we can go to as a place of refuge from the war around us. We must find ourselves here often. #3: Fortifying the weakest part. Now this made me think...what are my weakest parts that need strengthening? This is different for each of us, for me it is being patient with my family. Showing an increase love at home with my children and with my husband. Satan is working hard to find our weakest areas and to destroy each of us and our faith by working on our weakness. I pray the Lord can help me see my weakness (I know I have many) and help me see how to strengthen them. As I continued in my study today, that is exactly where the Lamanites attacked, the weakest parts, but they had NO success, because they were prepared. The Nephites did still have to fight, and some had wounds, but no one died. Oh how I pray the Lord will help me strengthen my weakness!

Answer to prayer

So, my little Enoch has been difficult to work with the last few weeks. Aaron and I have tried to be patient, give good consequences that reflect the behavior he shows, but still nothing seems to help him understand. On a very hard day earlier this week I had to send him to his room for failing to follow directions I gave to him multiple times. When he again refused to go I had no choice but to double the amount of time in his room to show him that I meant business. He finally went, very mad and frustrated. The time pasted and I went to go talk with him. He was still upset and wouldn't talk with me or listen to me. So I told him that I would sit and wait until he was ready to talk. I closed my eyes to relax and said a little prayer that I might understand how to work with him and love him. I didn't have my eyes closed for very long until I heard a soft snore, he had fallen asleep! Relieved that I could move on I left him there to rest. I tried to wake him up for dinner, but he just looked at me as if he were confused and went back to sleep. At 7:30PM I finally decided he was going to bed. I turned out his light, put over the covers and let him sleep. He did so until 3AM, which make a crazy morning, but to have his absence for a few hours that evening helped me see what his personality brings to our family, where his weaknesses are and his strengths. No, life is not perfect now, but I feel I understand him and his struggles a little better and I can have more patience with him, he is different that the rest, but his love is so pure and we need him as he needs us. I know God will hear and answer our prayers.

Just my thoughts

I have been having a desire to write my thoughts and blessings I see each day so I can take time to remember how blessed I am. I don't know if anyone reads my blog but me, and I am NOT a facebook person, so I'm just going to take time here and there to write down the blessings I see and receive everyday. This is for me, just to debrief my life a bit, which is crazy will all these little kidos. Today was hard, the 8-month-old Alma is teething and needs lots of love, the 2-year-old, Ammon is not having the best day on the potty, he's had good days, and today was not one of those, it took a lot of patience and time. But it was family night tonight, we had our moments of chaos and let the kids learn and use their agency. Micah wanted to make "rainbow cupcakes" for the treat, so we made cupcakes and four colors of frosting. Eden, Enoch, Micah and I each used our "agency" to decorate the cupcakes to our choice, and it was fun to see their individual personalities in the decorating and the tasting. It sure brought a smile to my face to see them create and have fun together. These children are jems. I need to remember that even when things don't go perfect, because they hardly ever do.

Graduation and baby

After 2 years of hard work Aaron did it, he finished his masters at UVU!

Then 2 weeks later Alma Daniel Smith came: 

We love our little Alma, and these kids keep me busy, so it took me two months to introduce him, and I wish I had more time to write, but life is sure busy for us!

A change in the routine

Life has been busy as Aaron works hard to finish his Masters Program that ends at the end of April. President's Day weekend came up and Aaron wanted to just get out of town. Due to last minute planning and not having a lot of time to go far, we planned a surprise trip for the kids to Salt Lake City. Yeah, it's only 45 minutes away, but for our kids, staying in a condo and exploring Salt Lake is a treat! We went up Friday after school and came home on Valentines day after an exciting day exploring Salt Lake, riding trax, going up and down escalators at the mall and touring Temple Square.

 

Here, Aaron, Ammon and Enoch are looking into the reflection pool.

 

Eden, in her new glasses, at Temple Square

  

Micah at Temple Square

 Mother and sons at the mom and son statue, with baby Alma due on May 15th

Getting kids to pose for the Jesus statue isn't the easiest

But Eden knows how to make Ammon smile.